Getting the Most Out of Marriage

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Is your marriage everything you imagined it would be? Does it scare you or excite you when you see the remainder of your future with this particular person? You don't have to answer that here.

My wife and I spend a lot of time with other couples. We do premarital counseling and run couple's groups. We also have many married couples as close friends.  We've seen the good and the bad. I ask a lot of questions. I'm fascinated by relationships and how they work - or don't. 

The biggest thing I've seen is based on the 'reap what you sow' principle. Most of the time, our outward expectation doesn't match our inward effort. I've learned that when we don't like what we're getting out of our relationship we need to check what we're putting into our relationship. Many of us spend so little time with each other and wonder why it's not working. Our priorities have become work, money, TV, video games, hobbies, other friends or even our children (over our spouse). then we wonder what happened. 

Nothing works without effort. The things we care about the most need the most time put into them. It's been said, "Show me your calendar and I'll tell you what's most important in your life." Most of us need to schedule work, meals, and sleep. Some of us schedule important things like our quiet time with God (reading scripture and praying), time with the kids, or even exercise time (gym or home), Then the schedule becomes fuzzy. What is the next priority? What's most important? If you're married, I would highly recommend putting your spouse here. The kids will understand. In fact, when they get older they'll appreciate it and use it as an example for them when they get married. 

I hate seeing marriages fall apart. Too many of them do. Based on the conversations I've had, many of them stem from a lack of time together or a lack of effort.

I see a future with my wife and I'm excited about it. I see us in rocking chairs in our sun room reading and I can't wait (may not be so appealing to some of you). But I know I have to do my part. Time + effort = benefits. 

When is the last time you and your spouse spent quality time together? Went on a date? Got away? Schedule it today and reap the benefits.