I wrote this blog a while back but wanted to repost it based on the people around me who have had a horrible year, losing significant people in their lives and who will never to be the same. 

This holiday is different. There's an empty chair. It's not the same. 

Tradition constantly changes through death and birth. Each Christmas Eve we would go to my mom's after church service. When we had children, the stay wasn't as long. Then my mom died and Christmas Eve was never the same. New locations, new traditions, new people (babies), less people (death)...the cycle of life.

My heart truly goes out to all of you that have lost a loved one and have to go through these holidays without them. So many of you have lost grandparents, parents, children and friends recently. Many of you are still in a fog. The memories of the lost person multiply based on the shared memories of this season. It's extremely difficult to process this throughout the year, let alone the holidays! 

Some of you know of someone who is dealing with this right now. I want to encourage you to do all you can for those grieving this year. Reach out to them. Pray for them. Be there for them. Talk about their loss - the good memories you have or open the door for them to talk about it. Let's not tip toe around someone who is grieving. Let's love them. We cannot fathom what they are feeling. even if we also lost someone. Every hurt feels different. 

Most people (not all) want to talk about their loved one they lost. Most, based on my experience, do not want to go about their lives as if nothing happened. For us on the outside, that's the easy way. We can just "sweep it under the rug" and avoid a possibly emotional conversation. But that's not beneficial.  You can be different. You can help them in this process. Maybe you've been through this already-if that's the case, you're the perfect person to help them here. 

Before I lost my parents, I was not someone who helped others grieve. Some of it was because I didn't know what it felt like. I never experienced this type of loss before. Some of it, quite frankly, was selfishness. It didn't affect me so I didn't have to deal with it. Sorry, but that's who I was before Christ. 

So I leave you with this list of asks:

• Remember those who have lost loved ones
• Reach out to them
• Encourage them
• Be there for them
• Talk to them about their loss
• LOVE them

This will be a very difficult holiday season for too many. Let's do what we can to help them.

Most people are in need of a Christmas presence, not so much the Christmas presents.

It's the age old question for all of us. What if it's true? By it, I mean the Bible. What if everything it said was true? What would that look like to those of us that are Christians? Would we, ourselves, live differently? I imagine the hypocrisy meter would lessen. We'd have to rid of worry in our life. (that alone worries me) (Matthew 6:31 and Philippians 4:6) We'd have to trust God fully (Proverbs 3:5-6, John 14:1 and Romans 9:32), not periodically or only on Sundays at church. 24/7. We'd have to make disciples which means we'd have to talk to others about Christ (awkward!) (Matthew 28:19). Most importantly, we'd have to actually love people. (Matthew 22:36-40, 1 John 4:20, and 1 Thessalonians 3:12) I mean, really love them where it showed and it was clear. Actions not just words. (Psalm 119:5, Proverbs 16:3, and James 2:14). It would mean that when some tragedy happened in this world (and there's been plenty of this!) our first reaction would be LOVE, compassion, empathy and a "how can I help?" attitude. Not a need to state our opinion on why the tragedy happened, just sympathy and this unusual amount of grace that this Jesus we're following would have shown in the midst of all this. You see, based on my reading of this Book, isn't He the one we should be emulating?

How about for those of us that are not Christians? If you were told that this book was 100% accurate, what would tomorrow look like for you? To know that God loved you so much that He sent His son to die on a cross for you. (John 3:16) To know that this life is so short but has eternal ramifications. To know that all of these hectic, chaotic and stressful times are temporary. To know that someday, upon us coming to accept Christ into our heart, all of the pain, all of the tragedy, and all of the sadness will soon be gone forever. What would it be like for you to know of the HOPE that comes from Him.  

I truly believe the Word of God. Once I read of all the evidence in Christ rising from the dead, the rest of the stories (the parting of the Red Sea, Jonah being swallowed by a fish, Noah's ark, Samson, the fiery furnace and the lion's den) all of these seemed easier to believe.

Whether you're a believer or not, what if you commit to reading the Bible for 15 minutes a day? What if you take this chance, and see if it makes any difference in your life.  I believe with my whole heart that it will change your life.  It is the Book that can save you from an eternity apart from God and apart from everyone you've ever known.  

15 minutes a day can have eternal ramifications.

First impressions. They're so important. I remember going to a restaurant years ago with about eight of my friends. Eight! That's a big check! All the restaurant's staff continued to walk by us without a greeting or even eye contact. It went on for a rather long time so we decided to try elsewhere. For the record, that restaurant has since gone out of business. Not much of a surprise.  

We always remember our first impression of any place. Isn't that why Walmart decided to hire the front door greeter? It's those first impressions that are often remembered the most. Whether it's a Walmart, a restaurant or even a church, we are generally full of assumptions based on that initial interaction. 

I remember a long time ago coming here to Fellowship Church. A gentleman named Rich Hall greeted me enthusiastically at the front door with a smile, his wife Barbara introduced herself, then Ben Lord, who worked the coffee bar offered me a cup of coffee and snack. I then walked into the Auditorium and Pastor Andy came up to my wife and I and introduced himself. None of this was overwhelming. It was all heartfelt and sincere. FC, in the words of the movie Jerry Maguire, 'had me at hello'....... Sorry, I had to. 

I recently went to a nice restaurant with my wife....so nice that they had one of those Crumb Scrapers/ Sweepers. I joked to my wife in front of the waiter that we should get one of those to impress the family at Thanksgiving. The waiter ended up coming back and gave us one! That is next level customer service! This is what I want at our church. I want us to go to beyond expectations.

We don't point to a bathroom, we lead them there. We don't say hi, we introduce ourselves and get to know them. We remember their name next week (even if we have to cheat and write it down somewhere). We do our best to develop a relationship with them ourselves, then we introduce them down the road to others we feel they would get along with nicely. We encourage them (comfortably) to get involved, whether it's serving or in a group. We know it's the best way they will get to know others. We do all we can to make their Fellowship Church experience the best it can be. Because if we get it right and they continue coming, the chances of them being introduced to Jesus Christ get better and better. And once that happens everyone celebrates! Life change- up and to the right. It all matters! 

So let me ask all of you: Where do you think we can go as a church to do even better? What have you seen somewhere else that you think would work nicely here? Who among your fellow FCers should be on our Greeting Team? How about you, would you like to get more involved? 

It starts with us but can end with eternal ramifications! 

Let me prepare you. This is a blog in regards to gluttony. Thanksgiving is right around the corner. You might want to wait it out and read this after. 

As someone who has 20 plus years of experience in fitness industry, I would say that 80% of those inside these health clubs rarely change aside from weight gain. You see, you can workout all day long but weight loss or getting into better shape is mainly a product of the food we put into our bodies. Yes, there is genetics and health issues that certainly play a part as well, but for the most part, nutrition is the key. I would also confess to always being genetically thin and 'falling into' the gym business as a career....plenty of advantages from the get go. Not sure if I have the 'voice' for this blog but here it goes.....

I've had two very interesting jobs. I spent 20 plus years managing health clubs helping others physically then the last 5 years as a Connections Pastor here at Fellowship Church, helping others spiritually. Interestingly enough, I have yet to 'conquer' either. They both take a lot of discipline and passion. Years ago, I'd often run into people at the supermarket and hear the reasons why there was Doritos and Pepsi in their carriage ("oh, it's for the kids."), now I hear why they haven't been to church in a while ("the kids, etc")   

Physical and spiritual health will change your life. They truly coincide. When you really grab hold of one, it can really affect the other. When I eat better and exercise I have more energy to read Scripture and spend more time with God (without falling asleep!) When I am spending more time with God I learn the value of health, my body being a temple and how being healthy gives me more years to do His work and more years to have with my family. 

Here's the problem: We live in a country where food is everywhere. It's advertised on TV far too often, all of us have a fast food place within minutes of our house, and it's even at our jobs (there always seems to be a birthday cake to celebrate!) Ever try to eat good at a work function? 

Scripture really does have a lot to say about eating, or overeating (gluttony). 

Proverbs 23:2 and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.                                      No other sin says to “put a knife to your throat”

Proverbs 23:20-21 NCV Don’t drink too much wine or eat too much food. Those who drink and eat too much become poor. They sleep too much and end up wearing rags.

Most people have heard the term gluttony before and are certainly aware of the dangers that come along with it health wise. When we overindulge in anything, it can be dangerous. I know people that work too much, exercise too much and serve too much! 

We live in a country that has made overeating way too accessible. Most meals at restaurants today can feed 2-3 people. We have supersize options and many of the drinks we order have more calories than some of the food! 

If your Thanksgiving Day is anything like ours, the cooking and prep take forever and the eating part takes about 10 minutes. We eat far more than what we're comfortable with eating, then we fall into a food coma and blame the tryptophan. 

I read a fascinating book recently where the author interviewed hundreds of older people in their 70's and up. They had so many thoughts on health. They often said that it's not dying we should worry about, it's chronic disease. One couple said if they did it all over again, they would watch what they ate and exercise because for the last 15 years the wife was taking care of her ailing husband dealing with diabetes and lung cancer from a life a overeating and smoking. Can you imagine being in a wheelchair on oxygen for 15 plus years because of a love for french fries and cigarettes? We often have to remember that when you're ailing, others ail with you. Someone has to take care of you. Spouse, parents or even children sometimes pay the price for a life of carefree intake. 

I've learned in my life that everything I take in affects me in some capacity. For me, sugar makes me tired, too many carbs makes me want to take a nap and salty foods make me want more salty foods. When I am not eating very well, I am not as productive. This goes for my walk with God. Try reading your Bible after a large breakfast! 

"We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. " 1 Corinthians 10:5  Sometimes food can be a proud obstacle. 

Our appetites are always threatening to take over our lives, and satisfying them becomes our obsession. 

Satan has hijacked God’s good gift of food to try to destroy us. In fact, I believe satan's plan was to keep this gluttony thing hush hush. The less people know the better. We certainly don't talk about it at any church! Gluttony feels like the 'accepted sin' in church.

My challenge though is to be aware, knowing the ease of overeating. Most of us are emotional eaters. We eat to celebrate and we eat when we're down. Clearly God gave us the gift of taste and the variety of foods to eat for a reason, so let's hold tight to the truth of Scripture and celebrate God’s goodness through His gift of food without abusing or overindulging. It's not easy!         

Clearly, we have all been fooled into seeking lasting comfort and fulfillment in temporal pleasures that will never satisfy. (Money, sex, food and drink) Like any of these, our appetites have been targeted by our enemy in an effort to thwart God’s good plan. Satan will use whatever tool he can to distract people from seeking satisfaction in God, and if money, sex, or power don’t hold any sway over you, then French Fries or chocolate milk shakes just might.  God promises us not just a taste of His goodness, but that we will find complete satisfaction in Him. 

Jesus said, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. John 6:35 . 

When we are truly leaning on God, trusting Him and seeking Him daily, we won't have to find our fulfillment in temporal pleasures

Proverbs 25:28 A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls. Practice self-control. Call sin what it is. Repent.

I cannot finish this blog with that. It's the holidays. Enjoy them. As Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 5:18:  "Even so, I have noticed one thing, at least, that is good. It is good for people to eat, drink, and enjoy their work under the sun during the short life God has given them, and to accept their lot in life." To an extent.....

Have you ever prepared Thanksgiving dinner for a houseful of people?  20 people?  30 maybe?  Can you imagine shopping and putting together Thanksgiving food for 1,000 families? That would be quite a challenge, but that is exactly what Fellowship Church and the Middletown Community Thanksgiving Project (MCTP) has done for the last several years!

     Though challenging, it is quite rewarding as well. During a time when all we hear in the news is negative, it’s refreshing to see something so great happen right here in our own community and we are so thankful that FC can be a part of it!

     The Middletown Community Thanksgiving Project Committee has been working for months behind the scenes contacting companies and organizations that are able to donate food to go in the baskets.  In the next 2 weeks that food will begin arriving and taking over the atrium at our church.  If you haven’t been at FC the Sunday before Thanksgiving in the past…. you’ll want to be there this year.  It’s something you can’t imagine until you see it.

   In addition to this project providing the baskets of food to 1,000 families here locally, we here at Fellowship Church, have seen God do amazing things in other ways. We have several people in our church that are here because of the Thanksgiving project.  They came in past years to volunteer or to receive a basket and were so impressed with the love and generosity here that they knew it was a place they wanted to be each Sunday. 

    It is awesome to see the love of Christ our FCers have for others.  When people come to FC on November 21st to pick up their baskets they will be greeted by a friendly parking team, a short line and a team of volunteers who will wish them a Happy Thanksgiving and personally carry the baskets to their cars.  The volunteers (and there are a lot of them) all have an attitude of joy as they are able to serve others in their community and be the hands and feet of Jesus.

So are you ready to prepare Thanksgiving for over 1,000 families? Can you help with the challenge?  Bring a pie…or two… or three, to FC on Sunday November 19th.  Pies must be store bought (not frozen) and have an expiration date of Thanksgiving or later. Be a part of something special and help us help others!

Want to get involved by serving? Click here and make a difference!

GUEST BLOGGER: Vinnie Marotta

I grew up in a Catholic family. By that I mean that my parents professed to be Catholic, sent my brother and I to church each Sunday and CCD each Tuesday. The problem is that somewhere around 4th or 5th grade, I realized that there was no God. He didn’t exist. I didn’t believe that there was no God, I KNEW IT. I could refute all of the arguments for His existence. I learned all about evolution, and the Big Bang theory, and it fit perfectly together. God didn’t exist because, he didn’t need to exist. The Universe worked just fine without Him. And I went on for years and years living without Him. Except, I didn’t. I spent my whole life searching for… something. All of the usual things, drugs, drink, sex, whatever vice you could imagine, I’ve tried it. But, it wasn't only bad stuff. I volunteered at the food pantry, submerged myself in work, went back to school, ran for public office, I tried everything I could think of to make life mean something. But it didn’t. It wasn’t a depression kind of “life has no meaning”, it was just that there was always something missing, something unfulfilled in me. And as much as I tried to chase it, I couldn’t find it. 

People have stories of hardship, and a tough life, mine was fine. No horrifying tragedies, childhood trauma, my life was fine. Just empty. I met a friend of a friend at a party and spent the whole night talking about God and her church. My mind wasn’t changed, and I still knew that I knew too much about the universe to believe in God, but I agreed to come to church with her that next Sunday. And I went the following Sunday. And I kept going. You see, the people I saw at church had something. I didn’t know what it was but I knew that I wanted it. I listened, I read, I thought about it but it still didn’t make sense to believe in God, even though I was wishing that I did. Then one day, I just did. Suddenly, God made sense. Could the world have happened accidentally? Sure. Could God have made it happen? Also… sure. Then it hit me that either way, there wasn’t proof. You had to have faith in something. And it was my choice in where I put my faith. I chose God.

Something clicked. I wasn’t empty anymore. I wasn’t trying to fill that void in me with a whole bunch of other stuff. You see, I had a God-sized hole, and I was trying to fill it with anything but God. And that just doesn't work. What happened, what I figured out, is that God is so enormous that nothing else will ever begin to fill that hole and you’ll always be searching. What I figured out, what I found, was the thing that all of those people in church had. God.

I wasn’t searching anymore, I was found. I wasn’t running after anything, I was running TO something. God, filled the empty, lonely, dark places in me with love and joy and wonder. He never gave up on me and He'll never give up on you.

So many of you have left Facebook. You're tired of the political rants, the negativity, the strong opinions, and your friend who checks in no matter where they are (eating at McDonalds, drinking coffee at Starbucks, resting at home). Troy Aikman, former Dallas Cowboys quarterback, Super Bowl Champion, MVP, etc (I'm clearly a Cowboy fan) said that Social media is "a race to the bottom." It's clearly all about us. I've learned too late in life that the more we focus on ourselves, the less satisfied we feel. And the more we’re consumed with the things of this earth, the more we feel empty on the inside. Some sociologists point to technology and social media as significant factors in our constant unhappiness.

What was once a tool to use to get in touch with friends and family from far away has turned into a tool to actually lessen your influence, a tool to share opinions without a relationship and a tool to sometimes actually depress others. 

As seen in the last year or so, many people have gotten rid of Facebook. They're tired of waking up to mindless banter. They thought the best way to address this is to rid of it. But here's my challenge to you: Don't. Don't delete your Facebook account on account of other's Facebook usage. Change the game. 

What the world needs now, more than ever, is positivity, hope and love. This is possible on Social Media. I've had mornings where I saw great encouraging quotes, funny family pics or birthday or anniversary wishes that changed my day. As a Christian, I believe we can use this as a tool to share the hope we have in Christ but......we have to be careful here. I will never 'shove my faith down someone's throat.' Jesus, Himself, never pushed Himself on anyone. He loved them as they've never been loved before (He died for them!) and He constantly met them where they were. No sinner was too lost for Christ. Everyone He encountered left different. He never judged anyone to come to Him, He loved them enough for them to want to come to Him. We should follow that example. 

So that's my challenge, post on Social Media through the eyes of Christ.

Would He like what you're posting? Is your post pushing people to Him or away? Is your life outside of Facebook one that would draw someone to read your posts? 

Rick Warren said, "If the whole world needs Jesus, then you must share the Good News. To keep it a secret would be criminal. If you knew the cure for Alzheimer’s or AIDS or cancer and you didn’t share it, that would be criminal. But we have something even better than a cure for disease. We know the cure for the human heart and the deepest needs of mankind. They need a Savior. They need forgiveness. They need their past forgiven, a purpose for living, and a home in Heaven. We cannot hold it back. We have to share it."

 

Is your marriage everything you imagined it would be? Does it scare you or excite you when you see the remainder of your future with this particular person? You don't have to answer that here.

My wife and I spend a lot of time with other couples. We do premarital counseling and run couple's groups. We also have many married couples as close friends.  We've seen the good and the bad. I ask a lot of questions. I'm fascinated by relationships and how they work - or don't. 

The biggest thing I've seen is based on the 'reap what you sow' principle. Most of the time, our outward expectation doesn't match our inward effort. I've learned that when we don't like what we're getting out of our relationship we need to check what we're putting into our relationship. Many of us spend so little time with each other and wonder why it's not working. Our priorities have become work, money, TV, video games, hobbies, other friends or even our children (over our spouse). then we wonder what happened. 

Nothing works without effort. The things we care about the most need the most time put into them. It's been said, "Show me your calendar and I'll tell you what's most important in your life." Most of us need to schedule work, meals, and sleep. Some of us schedule important things like our quiet time with God (reading scripture and praying), time with the kids, or even exercise time (gym or home), Then the schedule becomes fuzzy. What is the next priority? What's most important? If you're married, I would highly recommend putting your spouse here. The kids will understand. In fact, when they get older they'll appreciate it and use it as an example for them when they get married. 

I hate seeing marriages fall apart. Too many of them do. Based on the conversations I've had, many of them stem from a lack of time together or a lack of effort.

I see a future with my wife and I'm excited about it. I see us in rocking chairs in our sun room reading and I can't wait (may not be so appealing to some of you). But I know I have to do my part. Time + effort = benefits. 

When is the last time you and your spouse spent quality time together? Went on a date? Got away? Schedule it today and reap the benefits.