"I can never forgive them!" 

All of us have been hurt in some capacity. It seems as though everyone has a story of someone hurting them so bad they feel as though forgiveness may never come. In fact, I've heard many stories where I wondered just how they could even think of forgiving that person.......that is, until I realized how forgiven I am.

When someone hurts us (and they will!), we often hold onto resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness in our heart towards them. But if we want to truly experience freedom and healing from these feelings, then it starts with us handing all of that over to Jesus, the ultimate example of forgiveness. Many of you know the story: Upon Him being nailed to a cross, spit at, mocked, beaten, and ridiculed, He responds with, "Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34) That is crazy! 

I recently shared a story of myself (along with many friends in our neighborhood) dealing with sexual abuse by a pedophile in the late 70's. I would often look back with hate and anger when I think of this guy having the capability to do something so destructive. I share in the story of my mom's willingness to actually want to kill this man. Everyone was angry and we would all hold on to this for many many years. The holding on to it never helped, making me angry and making me question how something like this could happen. But what I learned later in my life was that true freedom can come to me (and you) when you choose to hand it over to Jesus. Sounds churchy, huh? But really, He is the ultimate judge and He will bring justice for everyone either at the cross or in eternity. In my effort of forgiving this guy, I had to look at a different angle: Just what happened to this person in his life where he is actually capable of doing something like this? 

I am so excited for this Sunday at our church. My good friend, Jason Romano (pictured above with his Emmy, not mine) will be speaking on this topic of forgiveness. This is a guy who left a successful job at ESPN to go into ministry and serve God. I've heard so many people struggle with forgiveness and too many that are not even aware they struggle, "I FORGIVE THEM!!" Doesn't sound like it with that tone. 

If you are in Christ, then Jesus has forgiven you of your sins – past, present, and future – and He no longer holds them against you (Hebrews 10:17). Amazing! As followers of Christ, we should give people the same grace when they sin against us. This does not mean that we pretend like it didn’t happen. We still have to use wisdom and discernment as not provide people an opportunity to repetitively sin against us. We can, in fact, love from afar. 

Holding a grudge against someone will only end up hurting you more. It's been said, "Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."

Join us this Sunday at Fellowship Church 9:00 and 10:30 to hear from Jason regarding this topic. His story is amazing. Because of our friendship, I knew a bit of the story, but when I read his book, Live to Forgive, I was shocked at just how much pain he had to endure and how amazing his faith was in taking him out of this unforgiving pit. 

Do you feel a pull to go to church but for some reason you don't go? 

I've written about this before but attending church weekly is becoming less and less of a thing. There's plenty of reasons. Most are pretty common. I've heard them all. Here's a response to some of them that I hope resonates with you. 

You've been hurt from previous church experiences - I'm sure everyone of you reading this have some great stories to share about previous church experiences! In fact, if you have the time and want to share some, email me here. I'm always amazed by these stories but have come to the conclusion that it's gonna happen. The church (every church) is full of imperfect people. Sadly, becoming a Christian doesn't always take away the 'crazy'. My biggest concern here would always be you taking out on God what a human did to you. Christ died for the church. (Ephesians 5:25) Clearly, He wants us to be here.

Your children are involved in recreational activities (sports/scouts) - I get this. You want your children involved. It's good for them. For me, sports changed my life. The friendships and thrill of competing are so memorable. They never used to have these all of these events on Sundays.  Everything today competes with church. For me, (I know, I now work at a church so my take is a bit personal) I want to communicate to my children the importance of God in our lives by making Sunday attendance high on my priority list. 

It's the only day you can sleep in - go to bed earlier. Ok, that's harsh. But for some of us that is all it takes. I have some friends who come here to FC following a 3rd shift job. They're exhausted but they're still here. Church for most, including FC, is one hour long. 

You work on Sundays - quit your job....ok, don't do that. There are some employers that, if asked, would actually allow you to change your schedule so you can attend church.....some. My answer here is to watch online and, more importantly, get involved in a small group....we call them Growth Groups. It is so important to get together with other people who are on similar journeys. 

You watch it church online - Isolation is dangerous. We are all called to do life together. We is better than me. Sure, we love when people watch Sunday's message online but you could never put a price tag on relationships. There are many people here in my church who have mentored me, guided me and helped me along the way that I would've never met watching church online.

Your kids don't like it so you don't go - My kids don't like vegetables, going to sleep at night, waking up early in the morning or, at times, going to school but guess what they do? If we allowed our kids to make the decisions around the house, we'd be eating candy for breakfast, McDonalds for lunch and ice cream for dinner. Until they move out, we, as parents, are still in charge. That being said, we do not want to force them to go to a church that is not investing in them or providing ways for them to learn about God on their level.  

We live in a country that gets to worship in community. We get to go to any church on any given Sunday. There is no persecution here. This is our freedom. So many countries can't do this. In fact, in some countries you will be killed. 

If you do not attend a local church, I would encourage you today to shop around for one. There are some great ones out there. If you're close by come check us out here at Fellowship Church. We'd love to have you. Imperfect? That's perfect for us. Come as you are. 

I don't know what I think. I'm certainly more proud than anyone could ever explain. But I'm also scared, very much so.....she's my wife, my best friend, my rock. She's the peanut butter to my jelly, the milk with my chocolate chip cookies, and the bread of my sandwich. 

Here's the story: Back in August Vicki and I learned of a dear friend (Deb Howley) who is in need of a kidney. Right away, I (being the super Christian I claim to be) pray for her. But my wife, clearly the more super Christian, begins a process that I know nothing about. She is actually considering donating her kidney! In the next week, Vicki begins praying about this. We go on a vacation where Vicki proceeds to tell me that she is considering donating her kidney. My daughter Sadie overhears and immediately says "No!". That weekend Vicki and I go to our friends Connor and Katy's wedding. Here Vicki meets this wonderful lady named Vanessa who said "I saw you from afar and somehow knew I wanted to meet you". She said Vicki had this glow about her. It turns out she (Vanessa) is seated right next to Vicki for dinner. They hit it off and talk as if they knew each other forever. Then this woman proceeds to tell Vicki that she would not be here (the wedding) had the bride's mom not donated a kidney to her. Of all the people to sit next to my wife! Vicki feels more inspired than ever. She arrives at church the next morning and who is the first person she sees? Deb! On this particular Sunday I have the privilege to speak (I do this once every 6-8 weeks). It's in this message that I ask: What is God telling you to do today that you need to do? She clearly sees God telling her that she should do this. The reason she knows it's God and not me is because I wouldn't tell her to do this! At this time, I was still not quite onboard. So for God to use my words to reassure Vicki to do this goes way beyond anything I could've imagined. 

I am now completely at ease with this whole thing. I love Deb. If anyone deserves a blessing, it's her. She is an amazing God-loving woman who would do anything for anyone. She loves Jesus and it shows. God has orchestrated some crazy stuff in these last 6-7 months. In looking back, I don't think I took this too seriously. I knew they both would have to go through a lot of hoops (and they did!) to even start the process, but I had no idea they would be a match. But it is a match and it is happening. To God be the glory. 

So here's my point. Listen to God. If you follow Him (like my wife does) He may just have you doing something you never thought you would. Here's the other thing: Although this story is great, my wife would want all of you to know that it's all God. God orchestrated this whole thing. Satan intervened quite a bit but God always controlled the process. My wife would want anyone reading this to know that this is all about Him. Despite the fact that my wife is by far the most amazing person I know, she wouldn't do this without His promptings. There could be no other explanation. She truly wants all the glory to go to Him. 

Today's the day. We don't know where this whole thing will end up but we do know Who is in control and for now, that will get us through. 

It was in the midst of premarital counseling with my pastor here at Fellowship Church (Andy Eiss) many years ago where we created a great friendship. It stemmed from our common love of the Red Sox and the Cowboys at the time. (As a current die hard Patriot fan, Andy may never confess to the previous Dallas Cowboy bandwagon riding but I remember it all too well) 

The closer I got to Andy the more he challenged me....as a friend and as my pastor. There were times it would stress me out when he asked me to get involved in something. I would go home and figure out a way that I can decline the offer in the best way. But as I look back now I am forever thankful. I see today that God intentionally put him (Andy) in my life to make me more valuable and available to Him (God). It was in these many moments of uncomfortableness that I grew more closer to God than ever before. "Hey Rich, what do you think about leading a Growth Group?" or "How about I have you speak in front of all these people on a Sunday?" Are you kidding me? Do you know who I am? Lead? Speak? I don't know about that. Back then (and even today) I felt like Moses in Exodus 4:10-11 But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.”11 Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord?

We are all created in the image of God. We are children of the living God. We have divine potential.  The world will tell us we can't or we shouldn't but God will tell us we can and we should. 

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Today, following what Pastor Andy did for me, I do for others. I am trying to constantly challenge others and put them in uncomfortable areas where I think they'd shine. And I know some of them would wish that I'd leave them alone. I'm sure some of them see a text or phone call from me and wonder, "Oh great! Now what does he want from me?" I would answer I just want the best for you which, in turn, will be the best for those around them as well. 

God has got huge things for you and I. What's getting in the way of being a bit uncomfortable and coming out of it better than ever before? 

Look for my phone call.....I'll be in touch soon

I have been friends with the men in the above picture for over 35 years. That states, first of all, that I'm old and secondly, that they are all great guys. It takes a lot to stay friends for that long. It takes effort. In the busyness and transitions of life (moving, having children, etc.), we need to be intentional in reaching out and staying in touch. 

In the last couple of years I've learned a lot about friendships. First of all, we need them. In the words of the great singer of the 70's and 80's Bob Seger (dating myself), "See some old friends, good for the soul." They are, in fact, good for the soul. We need certain friends who listen, encourage, and call without agenda. They're the ones who can get you through anything. They're the ones who can change your day, your week or even your month. Quality time + Quality People = Change of demeanor. Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." 

The other thing I learned (or re-learned) is that sadly, we lose friends. Even more as we grow older.  In the last 2 years I cannot tell you how many losses my friends and I have experienced due to cancer, tragedy, and even suicide. 

From these sad circumstances I realized how important it is that we do not wait for one's death to eulogize them, we should do this every time we see them. They should know how important they are in your life, how they make you better and how you look forward to seeing them each time. Why wait to tell everyone how great they are, when they are not here to hear it? 

What friend do you need to reach out to today? Who can you encourage or even eulogize today? 

GUEST BLOGGER: RICHARD NASON:

Did you ever think your life would end up where it did? Did you ever think that things would get harder and not easier? Do you ever feel like life owes you an easier time? I never signed up for this. This was not how life as a Christian was supposed to be. Every thing was supposed to be unicorns and roses. After all I am now a child of the Most High God and I am supposed to have an easier and better life. Ever have those thoughts? You are definitely not alone.

My life has not worked out the way I would have foreseen but then again God is in control and it all works out the way He feels it is best. It is not always easy to accept that fact but if during this time you can sit back and reflect on everything that has occurred you can see what God has done for you. The key is to really look deep and see the changes that have taken place. This is not a surface reflection!

I have been in a major, and I do mean major, detour in my journey of life. When Pastor Andy talked of the scenic route, I don't think he included the path through the barren desert. But sometimes God needs you to walk where few others will to teach you what He is made of and how He will help you. I believe He wants you to really know that He is there for you no matter what you are going through.

Learned I have! Love for God and Christ above all others has been the first and foremost lesson. I have had to lean on Him for all things for there are times when other brothers and sisters cannot help me and when only He can. He has been there every minute, through every heartache, financial pressure , emotional state of mind. You name it and He has been there and is still. "Be still and know that I am with you." Psalms 46:10

During those times when it all seems waaaayyyy more than I can handle I recall to mind my favorite saying. I have given a new definition to a popular saying that perhaps you may have never thought about.   Put up or shut up.  I have learned that if I truly believe that Christ is the real answer in my life then I need to put up my faith as a testament to what God can truly do and believe that He will help me or else I need to shut up about my faith. If I falter and lack faith that God will help me then how can I possibly expect Him to!!!

I have often asked, why can I not have the faith of the men of old. Faith like that of Abraham, Noah, Daniel, Joshua, Moses. What stops me from having that kind of faith? And that is a rhetorical question my friends, because the only person stopping me from developing that kind of faith is myself. I just heard this today and I absolutely love this. "We have as much of God as we actually want" A.W.Tozer   I do not want to limit Him in my life in any way. I need Him more than you can possibly know.

There are days I wonder if things will ever get better and there are days where I get tired of battling. But then there are days when I feel that things will turn out ok, days when I can handle the battle because I know He Is with me. My faith is still not where I wish it to be but it is increasing day by day. I keep my nose in His word every day and my prayer time has increased more than all other aspects of my journey; except the love that has grown in my heart for my Father and His Son.

I have been on a detour and though the scenery has not been pleasant I have been able to learn more and more how to rely on my God. I have learned to strengthen my faith, how to pray even more, how to love Him ever deeper. This is the road that has made it easier for me to firmly believe that I am a child of the most high God. He is with me and my hope is that you too experience this feeling even during your most trying times!

2018.....wow, that's crazy! It seemed like yesterday we were counting down 3...2..1.. as we entered the 2000's. 

Many of you had a very difficult 2017. Many dealt with a loss of a family member, loss of a job, divorce, health problems, among other things. You're so glad it's over. 

As we start the new year, many of us will start some resolutions in hopes of bettering ourselves. Losing weight, getting fit, dieting, exercising, and eating better are the more popular but I want to challenge all of you with something better, something that will help in every resolution and every decision you make in 2018. Last year I challenged our church to read through the Bible in a Year. 37 people took on the challenge. It was difficult at times, easy to fall behind but so beneficial. We are in a time where there is such an easy access to reading God's Word. We used the YouVersion app this year and did the Bible in One Year. My challenge this year is the 2018 rendition of it found here. Here is some of these responses I received from those who took on this challenge: 

• Janet Gentle: "From someone who has never read their Bible cover to cover this has been a great accomplishment and challenge for me! I have gotten so much closer to God because I have really come to know him on a much more personal level. Reading about all He has done for his people, how He loves us and is always with us. I heard the words before but thought maybe it was just something people said. Reading God's words in black and white have changed everything!!! It was like receiving a letter from a father I have never known and realizing that he has been there and loved me all along!! The peace that it has brought to my life is the best gift I have ever received! I don’t worry about things like I used to. I pray about everything, and trust God. Have I got it all figured out?? No, but I am forever a work in progress trying to keep in the front of my mind that I am His masterpiece and that He loves me so much that He gave His only Son so He could have a relationship with me. It puts me in awe every day!!!! I can’t wait to do it again!

• Richard Nason: "I make it a point to start my day with the Bible reading because my Lord sets the tone for the whole day. We become so busy yet if we can't afford even a few minutes for the Lord what does that really say about our priorities. Even if it only takes 15 minutes and that is all we gave Him during our busy day, at the very least it is something. We acknowledge His prescense in our life and that is tge most important thing. I owe the Lord at least this and so much more. The Bible reading helps me to focus on the fact that He is ever present and that He is there throughout my day. So many times I call on Him and I feel confident because I started my day reading His word and He will be with me because He knows I am trying to be with Him. The biggest take I get from all of this is what kind of Christian are we truly if we cannot even give God a few minutes from our day. We owe Him ever so much more but if we can't even find a little time to spend with Him, how can we expect Him to help us? A real Christian does not profess to being a foxhole soldier.

• Katie Jacobs: Despite the fact that I've fallen behind in the past month or so, I absolutely loved this Bible in One Year reading plan.  It has made my faith so much stronger.  I read parts of the Bible that I had never studied before and it increased my knowledge and understanding so much.  For example, I am so thankful for the fact that we have direct access to God through prayer after reading the Old testament and learning about all the sacrifices that were required. I also feel like my trust in God has grown so much through reading this plan.  I've gone through a couple of tense and stressful situations this year and had such peace throughout.  I know that came from growing in my relationship with Christ.  I was able to bring some Bible passages to mind at these moments.Finally, I loved the motivation. It was great having a little devotional and set readings planned out for me everyday. It took the guess work out of my Bible time and made it easier to spend time with Christ. Doing this plan was a great experience and I look forward to doing something similar in 2018.

Here's what this will look like: If you decide to take on this challenge click here. Starting Monday January 1st, I will send a daily email with my thoughts on that day's reading. You do not need to reply. I will check in to see how you are all doing sporadically. 

Advice: Schedule this time, don't try to find the time. (We schedule what's important) This plan has audio so you can listen on the way to work as well! Lastly, if you fall behind, don't give up! I guarantee you will be different at the end of the year! 

My children are no longer at the age where I can tell them their behavior during the year has everything to do with the gifts (or coal) they receive on Christmas. With the holiday so close, children naturally get more excited about the gifts and cookies and, in turn, lose focus on what we feel is the most important. And for all of us, what's most important is different. Today, what's most important to my wife and I is to genuinely celebrate Jesus Christ. For some of you reading this, it's something different....and that's ok. I get it. It hasn't always been this way for us either.  Right now, we're in the thick of it all - Christmas shopping, work parties, and bearing down at our jobs so we can actually enjoy our time off. It's an ongoing tension coming to a head on Christmas Eve. Sometimes, I'm not really good at handling this tension. I tend to overreact. Other 'less important things' can tend to take place of what's the most important. The peace that should come in the season doesn't necessarily show on my face. 

I wonder how I would've done over 2000 years ago as Joseph. How would I have reacted if my girlfriend (Mary) had become pregnant (not by me) and having the whole town question the both of us. Then, in our search for a place to give birth to the Messiah, there's no room at the Inn. We have to go into this smelly barn with the animals. I imagine my complaints would be heard. I imagine I would say plenty of things I would regret. I imagine my wife (pregnant and certainly uncomfortable in every way) would look at me in disbelief as if to say, "You're kidding right? I'M PREGNANT not you.!" The circumstances were not ideal. But are they ever?

The great thing about following Christ (or, at least should be) is that perfect peace is not dependent on our circumstances, it is dependent on trusting God.

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3

The more we pursue Christ, the more peace we have. Ask those around you that do this. I'm not the same person I was many holidays ago and I'm so thankful. He has given me more peace in my life than ever before. In the times where I've lost loved ones, had financial burdens, or was unsure of my career, I had peace. I have Christ. 

What if this was the first holiday you truly leaned into Christ? Sometimes the chaos in our lives stem from our push for independence. We convince ourselves that "we got this!" when all along He's ready to intervene and give you some much needed peace. Instead of going to Him as a last resort, how about going to Him first? Trust in Him and see. Your holiday will be different. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

My prayer is that you will not go blindly into this holiday. I'm praying that this is the year where relationships are appreciated more than ever before and God is put in His right place. #thereasonfortheseason